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Parenting

Etiquette When Child is Born​

  • Perform Adhan in the Newborn's Ear: Recite the call to prayer (Adhan) in the baby's ear right after birth.
  • Choose a Good Name: Give a meaningful name that does not describe attributes excessively.
  • Aqiqah Ceremony: Sacrifice two sheep for a boy and one for a girl to celebrate the birth.
  • Tahniq Practice: Rub a small amount of date or something sweet on the child's palate.
  • Circumcision: Arrange for the child's circumcision.

Keys to Good Parenting​

Compassion and Love​

  • Show love openly: Tell your children you love them, and express affection with hugs and kisses throughout their lives.
  • Encourage and compliment: Focus on your children's strengths, praising their efforts to build self-confidence and strengthen your bond.
  • Share laughter and joy: Bond through play and laughter, avoiding jokes or nicknames that might hurt their feelings.
  • Spend quality time: Engage in activities everyone enjoys, aiming to be loving 80% of the time and only strict when necessary (20%). This balance helps kindness become the norm and strictness the exception.

Setting Boundaries and Discipline​

  • Set clear boundaries: Ensure children understand expectations and consequences before enforcing discipline.
  • Maintain affection in discipline: Show affection even during discipline, like a comforting touch or hug afterward.
  • Seek Allah's forgiveness first: Teach children that seeking forgiveness from Allah is more important than from you. Consequently, mistakes that don't involve sinfulness should be overlooked.
  • Avoid hasty punishments: Give children the benefit of the doubt and discipline only if you're certain they acted deliberately.
  • Use meaningful consequences: Choose non-physical punishments that express displeasure while fostering a learning moment.
  • Reinforce positive behavior: Try a point system to encourage good behavior, possibly with friendly sibling competition.
  • Avoid public shaming: Discuss issues privately unless using an example for others.
  • Separate action from identity: Address the behavior as wrong, not the child, to reinforce your love for them.

Building Faith, Teaching, and Nurturing Talents​

  • Teach about Allah's love and mercy: Emphasize worship out of love, not fear. Help children connect with Allah through stories from the Quran.
  • Explain Islamic principles: Teach the meaning behind practices, not just rules, so children understand why some actions are halal or haram.
  • Instill accountability: Introduce the concept of life after death and responsibility for actions.
  • Encourage responsibility and decision-making: Give age-appropriate chores and involve children in decisions to foster independence.
  • Avoid overprotection: Allow children to make mistakes and learn on their own.
  • Teach financial literacy and Quranic knowledge: Equip children with life skills and ensure they learn the Quran.
  • Adapt to the times: Prepare children for the challenges of their generation, not just how you were raised.
  • Be a role model: Show honesty, kindness, and respect for elders, including your own parents. Avoid showing faults and correct mistakes openly.
  • Communicate respectfully: Use polite language and full sentences, as children mimic how you speak.

Protecting from Negative Influences​

  • Encourage positive friendships: Cultivate relationships with families who share your values.
  • Discuss peer pressure: Role-play responses to peer pressure, promoting individuality.
  • Monitor media use: Limit exposure to inappropriate content and choose age-appropriate options.
  • Be mindful of double lives: Stay aware of children's behavior outside the home.
  • Engage with their education: Involve yourself in their schooling or consider homeschooling for alignment with Islamic values.
  • Protect their privacy in the home.

Promoting Justice and Fairness​

  • Ensure fairness: Avoid favoritism in discipline, attention, or privileges.
  • Don't compare siblings: Refrain from comparisons to prevent jealousy and resentment.
  • Spend individual time: Show each child they are valued through one-on-one time.
  • Respect individuality: Recognize each child's unique personality and needs.

Dua and Supplication​

  • Pray for guidance and protection: Make dua for your children daily, asking Allah to keep them righteous. Dua examples: Quran 3:38, 37:100, 14:40, 25:74, 46:15
  • Align dua with parenting goals: Use your supplications to shape and reflect on your parenting goals, striving to match your actions with these aspirations.